Updated: Sep 21, 2022
… and why I think they are overrated and oftentimes even in the way of love.
As a CONSCIOUS CONNECTION COACH and organizer of CONSCIOUS DATE NIGHTS, I get many questions about “dating strategies”.
This makes me wonder:
WHEN DID LOVE BECOME A STRATEGY?
There are thousands of articles, videos and coaches out there trying to support people to find love. Yes- I am one of them!
AND: I think the number 1 mistake when it comes to dating is actually to follow a strategy.
Instead of “the 3 best strategies to find love” and “the 10 golden dating rules”, my advice would be to NOT follow any rules or strategies!
JUST BE PRESENT WITH YOURSELF AND THE OTHER!
But what does this actually mean?
It means to be more interested in what the other has to offer than in what you want them to be.
For sure, it is important to know what you want and to be clear about your boundaries and desires.
AND there is a huge difference between checking boxes and interviewing someone versus meeting a person with openness and curiosity.
EXPECTATIONS VS. VIBRATIONS.
Instead of checking if your date would fit into the position you have to offer (your future partner), my advice would be to be curious and present with what they share and to receive them.
Receive their vibrations and simply get to know them. Enjoy the waves you both ride together and get curious about differences instead of writing them off.
How do you feel during the date?
What signals does your body send?
Like this you are plugged into your inner wisdom to gather some data.
Dating is gathering data about the other, yourself and the 2 of you together.
Connect to your body and your inner guidance rather than to your mind!
TRUST OUR BODY AND YOUR INTUITION
and don´t try to argue against it with your mind!
You know what I am talking about, do you?!
I think we´ve all been there. We all played that game with ourselves when we ignored our inner guidance and betrayed ourselves by following a strategy of the mind.
In that game of EXPECTATIONS VS. VIBRATIONS my advice would be to stay present with what is, stay open and find out later, what it´s supposed to be.
Like this you STAY OPEN for whatever that connection means and FOR LOVE if it wants to happen instead of killing love with strategies even before it has a chance to unfold.
MAY LOVE WIN THE GAME!