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My personal fall of the Wall

or

How ISTA changed my view of the world



For as long as I can remember, life has been somehow a fight for me.


It was about optimizing, adjusting, perfecting, sometimes it was simply about surviving.


Of course, I also had wonderful moments, highlights and great people around me, which I am very grateful for.


Unfortunately, I was never able to allow deep connection, real closeness and intimacy.

The walls were too thick and too high.

I was mostly numb and always searching.

Tired but never tired of life.


Somehow, I always knew there was more...





And then, one day, ISTA found me...

(feel free to read the story here: How ISTA found me (sylvicares.com)).


After I registered, I had some moments of being afraid of my own courage and almost backed out.


I probably already felt that a lot of things would change as a result of the training and that my life would no longer be the same afterwards...


Eventually I ended up in the welcome circle of the training.


I was full of tension:


> I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

> So many new people!

> Spiritual, Sexual, Shamanic... What the f*** is that?

> Maybe I ended up in a cult after all?


I brought all the walls with me, which had always given me a feeling of safety in my life.

In general, I was rather wait-and-see and pretty skeptical.



This world was really new:


Why does everyone have to make so much noise?


Can't they breathe quietly?


Everyone please put some clothes on!



But on the other hand I also felt at home:


There was dancing - my world and my language!

And the people were so open and loving! Wow!



And I realised that I wasn't the only extra sensitive person:

For the first time in my life, I met other people who talked about love, life, connection, energy, body, sexuality, etc., in a way that resonated deeply with me (especially the facilitators)!


And for the first time someone encouraged me to listen to my intuition and my limits-

To figure out my own way!


Not to conform and to free myself from the feeling of “peer pressure”.


And they promised me that all of this is not only ok and tolerated, but important, wonderful and welcome!


And I really tested this out! ;-)


It was a wonderful feeling to feel so accepted, part of the group and at the same time connected to myself.



Slowly, very slowly, I opened up little by little and looked at my themes around:


> setting boundaries

> feeling suppressed emotions

> meeting my inner child and her relationship with my parents

> feeling my inner male and female side

> questioning my view of pleasure in general and sexuality in particular

> investigating my relationship with my own body....

and so much more.



I would describe it like this:

It shook me strongly but lovingly for a week.


As a result, some pieces of my wall fell and I looked at the world and my life with different eyes.


It all touched me so deeply in my soul that I dared to knock a few cracks into my walls and remove a few rows of bricks to be able to look behind.


And since then I've wanted to see more and more, because I´ve seen


LOVE

ALIVENESS

PLEASURE

PASSION

TRUST

CONNECTION

and FREEDOM


Since then, I've been breaking down my walls more and more and seeing clearer and clearer.


I hold a vision in my heart that the world would be a better place if more people decided to let down their walls and open their eyes to the infinite potential of life.


That's why I'm bringing the ISTA training to Bavaria this fall...


But be careful:


Once you´ve seen it, you can't look away anymore!

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